Monday, July 4, 2011

At Least Origami is Gluten Free

After years of denial and off putting, I am gluten free.

You see,  both my mom and sister have Celiac Disease.  I was tested twice and both tests came back negative for Celiac Disease even though I have a ton of the symptoms, which means, most likely, a gluten intolerance.  Since I'm currently health insurance-less I decided to forgo further testing and find out the old fashioned way - by eating a gluten free diet and seeing if it makes a difference.

It has now been about a month since I started my gluten free (GF) diet.  It's not exactly fun but so far it hasn't been awful.  I already know a lot of the sanity saving tricks that my mom and sister have learned in the 3 years they have been GF - Five Guys and Chick-Fil-A french fries, Udi's bread and Trader Joe's GF Waffles.  But even these small measures of "indulgence" aren't enough to keep me from almost having a breakdown every time I go to the grocery.

It's a normal day and I'm feelin' fine when I decide to go grocery shopping.  I survive the produce section unscathed as produce doesn't naturally contain gluten.  One turn of the corner and things go desperately wrong - bread, powdered donuts, then Doritos, brownie mix, brownie mix and even more brownie mix.  Of course, you also have the prepared brownies, the ice cream with brownies in it and even brownie flavored Toaster Treats.  Oh yeah, and there are Oreo's too.  

How it all breaks down is like this - for the most part, glutenous foods can be easily substituted for gluten free versions and taste pretty similar (though cost more), but one thing I haven't really found an easy emergency-my-blood-sugar-is-low-and-I-have-PMS replacement for is cookies and, most importantly, brownies.  Sure they make a GF brownie mix but that requires me to take it home and bake it, which, with my tiny-enough-that-no-pans-fit-into-it-oven, can be rather difficult.  And so I just try to resist, which on the last two trips to the grocery has nearly brought me to tears.  Seriously, I get so wound up about not eating cookies and brownies that tears come to my eyes.  Awesome.

I know how to fix it- OVERCOMPENSATE!!!

So where should you expect to find me after a tear inducing trip to the grocery?  In my car, in the Kroger parking lot, using potato chips to scoop cream cheese right off the brick.  You may also witness me chugging soda right from the two liter bottle.

NEXT PROJECT: Find better coping behaviors.

NOTE:  I have learned from my mother that one of the symptoms of Celiac Disease/Gluten Intolerance is that you think everyone else has it too.  Please check yourself here - so that if I ever try to tell you that you have it you can tell me that thanks to my blog you have already learned the symptoms and know your gluten tolerating status.

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